Beautiful Melody - Phoenix's Birth Mom, My Daughter and Our Story

My daughter Melody passed away in November of 2019 from an overdose due to relapse after a year and a half of sobriety. She was 31 years old. During a mental breakdown after losing Melody, Phoenix’s father Dean took his life 4 days later at the age of 34. The opioid crisis and drug use in general, while almost completely ignored by our society, is the #1 reason so many grandchildren are being raised by their grandparents today. Mental health is right behind it. I used to keep this all to myself, but now I feel it's my duty to spread the message.

One way to look at addiction is like a demon possession. I am not religious, nor do I believe in demons. However, we have all seen movies about them. A demon can take what was a normally sweet, caring, honorable person and turn them into something else that is very scary. The real person is still in there, crying to be set free! But the demon has suppressed the real person and now the demon forces them to do things that they would NEVER have done otherwise. It really is like that, and it seems no one will give them the help that they need.

Melody came from a very good home, she was an average student, and was well-liked. She was a good child and had no trauma in her youth. She had no “reason” or underlying condition that led her to drugs, but she suffered from opioid use disorder, nonetheless. Ten years later she had done it! She had made it to a place of sobriety. She remained sober throughout her pregnancy and for a few months after Phoenix’s birth. She was an amazing mom, the best!!! But as I later read in her diaries, she continued to struggle. Every day was a fight to stay clean. I cannot imagine waking up to that demon and having to fight it every single day. She cried to me one day saying how she thought love would be enough to pull her through. Then one day, the demon took her away from me, her son, her father, her brother, her recovery community, her friends, everyone. This world became a little grayer without her in it. Do not think less of her, the demon won.

So next time you see that “addict” on the street, you don't have to like them or give them money - just try to look at them with some compassion. Most started as normal children, in normal families, with Christmases, birthdays and lots of hugs. They likely had families that did all they could to save their children after one injury or toothache got these kids addicted to opiates in the first place due to the evil marketing practices of Purdue Pharmaceuticals. (Watch “Crime of the Century” [currently on MAX as of January 2024] if you are unaware of these practices.) Or maybe a dumb choice was made in their youth that led to addiction. Who reading this hasn't made a dumb mistake in your youth that could have led to catastrophe?

There needs to be change; change to how we think about addiction, change to healthcare system (affordable, long term recovery options are really the only hope for these individuals), change to our laws and government. Addiction is the worst epidemic that has ever swept over this country, and it is rarely even acknowledged, except for those of us who have lived through it. Today, drug addiction is responsible for more deaths than any other health condition and it costs the U.S. over $600 billion every year.

Thank you for letting me share our story.

You can help by taking action or just changing the conversation: https://drugfree.org/article/action-plan-in-the-face-of-the-opioid-epidemic/